I have to start this by saying when I started this job search I was under the impression that I would have found and started a good job within a couple of weeks. That happy little bubbled was quickly popped. When I think about it now I realize that my expectations were unrealistic, especially considering the current job market. I must admit that while I do realize that it takes more than a few weeks (its been four now for me) at times I have found it extremely discouraging.
This past weekend I found myself pretty depressed. I had sent in about thirty resumes that week and had had very little feedback by the time 5pm Friday rolled around. I was beginning to spiral downward in a self pity party, thinking maybe I would never find a job, maybe I wasn’t as smart and skilled as I thought I was. I am ashamed to admit that this pity party lasted the better part of the weekend. By Sunday afternoon, with the support of my family, I decided I was done being a downer. Being sorry for myself would not help my situation in any shape or form and honestly I was disgusted with myself because I do think very highly of myself and believe I can be successful in whatever I apply myself to.
Monday morning began with a new determination, persistence, and attitude. This is a marathon, not a sprint (which is actually better for me because I have short legs). I had an interview on Monday which I think went very well. I really liked the company and felt that I would fit well with them on an interpersonal level and that the position, Assistant Media Buyer, would be a great place for me to start my career. The only bummer was that they said they wouldn’t be able to get back to me for two weeks. My new attitude has me spinning this in a positive light: the wait gives me the chance to find another job so that when they offer me the position (because of course they will, I’m pretty awesome) I will be able to choose which job is better for me. And I have another interview tomorrow that seems promising.
As stressful and emotionally taxing as this job hunt has been so far, the lessons to be learned have not been lost on me. I am fortunate to say that in the past disappointment has been mostly a stranger to me. I have always been a smart, academically advanced student, only once had I applied to a job/internship that I did not receive, I have always been proud of my accomplishments and willingly shared them. This job hunt has taught me lessons in modesty, humility, and patience. While many of my friends have already begun exciting jobs or their first classes as grad students I have had to admit that no, I’m not working yet. I’m still looking. It has been an ego check but it has also made me realize how much I want a job where I can learn, grow, gain experience, and begin a lasting career with a stable company.
I am going to find a job that will be the perfect job for me at this point in my life. It will be perfect because it will set me on the road to reach my career goals. I might not find a job this week or next but I will find one. I will find one because I am persistent. I am patience. I will remain positive. And because I want it, I want it badly.